UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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