Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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