New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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