are you still at the devil's house?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
