dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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