found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
