i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Life is so much better after having sex.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
