whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
