My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
