I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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