You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
