Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
