Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
