She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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