dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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