I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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