Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize