Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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