Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
