They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
