he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
