He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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