I don't usually arrange sex via text message
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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