Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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