lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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