Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
