So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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