Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
