Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
