Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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