Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
