We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
