i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
