its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize