this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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