How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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