that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
