Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Can I color on your dick again?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All I want is dick and wine.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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