He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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