redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
