I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
