just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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