I think im going to throw up on grandma
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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