And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
