from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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