..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
