your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
