I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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