i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
