You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
