Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
