This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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