I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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