Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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