I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
