Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
