Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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