If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
