but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
