there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
