why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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