weddingsv make me drug and hornr
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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