i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
